My Addictions – Man Recovered and Comes Clean After 43 Years in Bondage

Bondage

After being influenced and hooked to drugs of all sorts, I’m finally FREE out of the bondage as well as the chains that kept me wrapped for not quite 43 years.What an amazing rollercoaster ride I’ve been onto say at the least!

In trying to come to terms with”this disorder” I can not help but look back at all that happened in my life, and also how I used circumstances influence my mind such a poor way.

The battlefield was unquestionably in my brain and it’s the vaping cbd oil only location where I went to feed the shadowy spontaneous behavior that I cherished to reside in in. It had been”my own” pitty-party and I didn’t want anyone included who really cared for me. I liked being alone. I used to be a thinker, a problem solver, a man or woman who could rescue the world, therefore that I thought.

Allow me to take you back to some of the excuses I used to try and justify the hellish life style I directed.

(1 ) ) Father was too busy and didn’t pay some attention for me personally
(2) Step mother had her own children and did not like me
(3) Was always picked on and no one gave me some attention
(4) was obese as a youngster and had weighty problems. (pardon the pun)
(5) Dad was police chief. Called”narc” and had to struggle for self image.
(6) Sent to military school to boys in 14 yearsold
(7) Accused by dad and step mum of doing drugs when I was not
(8) Was not punished or disciplined because no body was there.

You see, although these matters are true, if you’ll notice one common denominator, it is the word”I” or”Me”. I did not even think of bias and how which may affect my prospective. I wasn’t concerned about helping the others. In one word, I had been covetous, in 2 words, I was extremely greedy.

More about this in another report.

The most important intent of this article is to try and assist you to know my mind, the inner workings of my own mind during the moment. I used to be a bright kid, filled with life and hope, filled with potential and energy. I was athletically inclined. I played with the guitar and still do, was talented and had my physical wellbeing. I had all of the reasons to be grateful and to be an over achiever.

So what happened?

I didn’t “Just Say No” to this first took, or first hit, or first poke. I needed to see more. I felt physically and emotionally invulnerable. I had no fear, and although I always felt like a stranger into the planet earth, I needed to experience life on earth into the fullest.

Allow me to try to spell out this”stranger to earth” statement. I had always felt this void deep within my own being. This is a lost feeling, an atmosphere, also keep in mind, being the by-product of this Baby Boomer Generation, believing was all we went by.

Going right back to the time once I was around 14 years of age, I had been pulled and my mind began to lie . I believed the lies for such a long time. You notice, until we realize we now have a problem, there isn’t any problem, therefore I was too busy discovering other people problems instead of my very own.

I had been easily influenced, gullible I figure you’d say, therefore when that very first opportunity came to flee this reality and enter another, I ran toward.

My very first encounter with any mind altering substance was sniffing glue. I was really enjoying sitting back, listening to music and huffing a paper bag laced with Weldwood contact cement. The active ingredient in Weldwood has been Toluol, a strong, fast acting solvent to get special oil based paints, lacquers and adhesives. It was extremely potent and highly hallucinogenic.

That persisted for approximately a few weeks or so and then I took my first hit of bud. I thought marijuana was the perfect drug for me because it appeared to inspire and enlarge my mind. This went on for quite some time before I found I couldn’t afford it so I learned just how to cultivate it.

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